Venting on Renting

My body is for rent for 40 weeks. And when that lease is up, I will get it back because I want to. Not because it will be easy or because I expect it but because I WILL WANT IT BACK that bad. ~ Elizabeth Waterstraat

These words resonate. I'm not talking a lean, fit body. I'm simply saying my OWN body. As in, a cute little boy on the outside, maybe even on daddy's knee, rather than on mommy's bladder. We can't wait to meet Matty. Good thing is that now we don't have to. He's 2 weeks from his scheduled cannonball into the world - staying breech, dancing a jig on various pelvic organs...

I'd abandoned this blog because I started a "real" wordpress blog on my own homepage. That had gone by the wayside as well. Business got busy, life got hectic. But, I want to write. I need to write. My stuff, not just TriTactics triathlon and nutrition tidbits. Posts create themselves in my head, but I don't make the time to put them to "paper". Therefore, here I am. Elizabeth Waterstraat's blog has inspired me to do a few things, not the least of which is to just hang it out there. Hopefully some of my roller coaster will help another, as her words helped me. I have so much to be grateful for, from my ability to be a doctor, to our upcoming family addition.

My last post here was New Year's Day 2012. Last year was a year of ups (getting pregnant in January) and downs (getting un-pregnant in March), and ups (Ironman Texas in May), and more ups (getting pregnant again in September). This year, the ups continued (opening a new business, my cortisol level, my "baby" weight). I did a Whole30 in April - LOVED that, and finally got my nausea under control. Then, there are things that happen and I have no idea if they're ups or downs. The first of which was realizing that the new business we started with 4 other partners, wasn't being run to its potential and it would be better served under new ownership and especially new management. This came to fruition in April, and the development? Definitely UP. I went from working two full time jobs to 1.5 in April, and then in May, back to one job (!!!! holy free time - to sleep, I AM pregnant, after all), and the business, which we stay involved with, is much more streamlined.

Then, this past weekend, The Woodlands was again host to Ironman Texas. Mostly an "up" - getting to see friends like Hailey, Jozsef & Lucy, and to watch our athletes KICK BUTT on the course! Sort of a "down". It was so very hard to not race - worse because I am not doing anything. This is partly because I am not motivated enough after the workload earlier, and partly because I have had a lot of pelvic dysfunction since week 10 or so due to "pregnasty" (thanks Meghan!) hormones. I feel like I have shin splints in the front of my pelvis every time I step. I can feel my SI joints open up in the back. I get tired of hurting, so my activity level is nil. Lifting requires pelvic stabilization - not happening. Swimming feels really crappy - before you suggest it ;-) So, at this point, 2 weeks out, I am crawling out of my skin. Ok, so the boy is too! He's fidgety. Reminds me of someone I know... But now the "up": Ironman weekend came with such mixed emotions that I was shown something invaluable. Somewhere along the line I became an athlete. I crossed a finish line, and there's no going back. I tried. I ate out of stress (with the business), cravings (can you say 14 weeks of grilled cheese???), and then because I was bummed - after running the Disney Half Marathon in January, I stopped running because the pain got too bad. I miss running. I miss my bike. I miss my toes!

So, as one of our athletes, Richard, said this weekend, I drew some lines in the sand. I committed to a few races, some larger than others. Because I can't wait to give Matty a good example, and let him see the real me! There's so much fun to be had!!! And, as my dad said "hey, the break doesn't last forever."

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose. ~ Lyndon B. Johnson